I Forgot to Remember to Forget

Just wanted to add a few pictures that just hit my heart.

Someone once told me i deserved better and since then that's been my only expectation. I would sit there and pick apart the guy I like, trying to figure out if he is "good enough" ... but as of now, I wonder if I am the one who is good enough? Being a teenager is awkward enough but to try and find a guy you can be yourself around and they truly like you for who you are is becoming harder and harder every day. I've said this before, and I thought I was over this stage but I guess my heart never could.

I feel like such a hypocrite because several guys have told me they like me and want to start something, but i don't feel the same way towards them. Am I wrong to say no? Am I wrong to hope to be with someone I really like? If I'm not wrong, then why haven't I been able to have a steady relationship with someone I really care about. People are telling me all the time about how beautiful I am and how I have this contagious personality. Like ...I have COMPLETE Strangers come up to me at work and say "you are a very beautiful girl" sure most of them are older...much older people but hey if they can appreciate my looks why the hell can't guys my age?

It's obvious that I care about how I look (who doesn't?) but it doesn't make me narcissistic. I just want someone to look beyond looks. I want him to hear me...see me, you know? I don't need to have those silly little flings. My heart can't take those.

People always leave.

Most of my friends are leaving to go to University and for most that means out of my life. They say the friends you make at University are friends for life. It kinda scares me because I'm missing out on that opportunity because I have chosen College. I worked so hard in all the univeristy courses at school, and now it's for nothing. I could've slacked all through school and still make it into college. Funny how that one works out. Back to what I'm trying to say. People keep saying they are getting out of this town, or they are leaving to go pursue what they are the best at. Or for some it's for another job, or residence. I don't really know how to react when someone's goodbye is forever.

The sum of one

It's been awhile, but I am still alive. J-moose I'm sure you'll be happy now.

A lot has happened, however it's been awhile since they have so its hard to remember them all. I'll try my best :P


Well...most recently, I have a new job..along with the wal-mart one. I edit biographies for a company that's just starting out. I'll be starting very soon, so I'm really excited.

I just finished up my first semester of grade 12 and based on my courses for semester two.. I just passed gr.12. I know i can't fail any of the courses i just had and I have communications technology, food and nutrition, drama, and gym. I'm very excited for that too. :) My brother is actually going to be in my drama class. It's a spilt class because there isn't enough gr 12's to have a full class.

On February 6th I will be going to see One Republic at a club :D very excited.

I'm also sending in a video to much music...hoping to win a spot on the show "The Shift"

..hmm oh yes now for the really good story.

So i'm not sure if i mentioned this before but i was in a MADD video shoot and i met this guy there. We are really good friends. But we never saw eachother after that shoot. but we always talked on msn. Most recently we talked about what happened to his plans on coming down to visit. Well stick a sign on me and call me oblivious.... i was always working when he could come down so he said he took it as a hint, that i didn't want to see him. Then he told me that the only reason he was going to go to McMaster university..was to be closer to me and start something up if i was interested. I was stunned. I felt so bad that he took things the wrong way becuase i really would have loved for him to be closer. But now he has a girlfriend... they seem to be taken over the world...blahh he just moved in with his gf in burlington, so he is a bit closer which is nice.

see this is what i mean.. i had more things..but i have forgotten them. *Sigh* I'm sure i'll rememebr them at some point.

I'm gonna cut this short for now.