Just wanted to add a few pictures that just hit my heart.
Someone once told me i deserved better and since then that's been my only expectation. I would sit there and pick apart the guy I like, trying to figure out if he is "good enough" ... but as of now, I wonder if I am the one who is good enough? Being a teenager is awkward enough but to try and find a guy you can be yourself around and they truly like you for who you are is becoming harder and harder every day. I've said this before, and I thought I was over this stage but I guess my heart never could.
I feel like such a hypocrite because several guys have told me they like me and want to start something, but i don't feel the same way towards them. Am I wrong to say no? Am I wrong to hope to be with someone I really like? If I'm not wrong, then why haven't I been able to have a steady relationship with someone I really care about. People are telling me all the time about how beautiful I am and how I have this contagious personality. Like ...I have COMPLETE Strangers come up to me at work and say "you are a very beautiful girl" sure most of them are older...much older people but hey if they can appreciate my looks why the hell can't guys my age?
It's obvious that I care about how I look (who doesn't?) but it doesn't make me narcissistic. I just want someone to look beyond looks. I want him to hear me...see me, you know? I don't need to have those silly little flings. My heart can't take those.
People always leave.
Most of my friends are leaving to go to University and for most that means out of my life. They say the friends you make at University are friends for life. It kinda scares me because I'm missing out on that opportunity because I have chosen College. I worked so hard in all the univeristy courses at school, and now it's for nothing. I could've slacked all through school and still make it into college. Funny how that one works out. Back to what I'm trying to say. People keep saying they are getting out of this town, or they are leaving to go pursue what they are the best at. Or for some it's for another job, or residence. I don't really know how to react when someone's goodbye is forever.
2 comments:
First off, your last little bit there is something i've been thinking about for the last few days and i've questioned it too. Secondly, the moment you told me you were writing a new blog and you were complaining in it, I immeadiately knew it had to be about relationships.
Ok, lets go over something. You can't always have your cake and eat it too, meaning that not every guy you like is going to like you back and vice versa. You have every right to not be interested in the guys interested in you and hope to be with your crushes but sometimes those guys are the ones who will suprise you the most. You might remember years and years ago from elementary school a girl named Felicia Andersen. She's been with her boyfriend for around a year and a half now, but when she first met him she thought he was weird and creepy beyong all belief. It's not that he wasn't good looking or a nice guy, just a little weird. I can't remember the number of times she told me she couldn't stand him. Then gradually she began to see someone else inside him, someone who she never thought would be there. Slowly she would talk to him more and much to her belief actually like him. I remember the first time she told me that she liked him and I could just tell she was going to end up with him. The guy will do anything for her and i've never seen a better kind of true love. Klla, you may not end up with the guys you have crushes on but sometimes the ones who you'd never want to let in are the ones who can affect you the most. Looks may capture attention, but personality captures the heart.
aw.
i've told u before that someone good will come up soon haha and hey i'm your age and appereicate ur good looks! :D
i kinda agree with "J-MOOSE" said. if you be patient someone good will show up!
as for the University/College thing, the friends that go away will always keep in contact with you and stuff. i know i will :p, i'd be crazy not to ahah.
i know you might thing that the hard work was wasted or w/e because u could've slacked but at least you can be proud of yourself now and say that you completed all the U level courses! when you look back you can say you tried hard in Highschooll.
Are you 100% that you're going to college?
Well, nice blog. Keep em coming.
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